Some individuals, especially women, may be triggered by intercourse after perinatal loss. While some women find solace in intercourse and intimacy after perinatal loss, several women have reported experiencing a panic attack. No one can know how they will react until the moment is upon them.
Being open, honest, and supportive with one another is key in the path towards healing. Talking with your partner about intimacy and being supportive of each other can help foster a deeper connection and strengthen your relationship. Holding hands, hugging, snuggling, and sitting close to each other helps to stay connected. It may also be helpful to talk with a therapist about intimacy. Intimacy can occur without sexual intercourse.
Changes in Libido
There may be changes in libido or sexual excitement after perinatal loss. This can be due to grief, depression, or hormonal changes. Being honest with yourself and your partner about your sexual desires is important. Talking about sex with your partner is healthy. You may consider talking with a therapist about changes in libido, especially if you find that you continue to have no interest in sex.
Fear
Some people are afraid to have sex after perinatal loss because they are not ready to become pregnant. Talk to your doctor about pregnancy prevention methods that align with you and your partner’s needs.
Intimacy after perinatal loss may bring up feelings of guilt for feeling happy or connected to someone. Parents have reported feeling guilty or that they are betraying their baby if they are able to feel happy after their loss. Others worry that the pain of their grief is the only thing connecting them to their baby. Feeling happy is healthy, and feeling connected to others is a positive thing. Your baby’s memory can live on as your grief heals. If you find that you are not able to allow yourself to be happy or feel connected to others, you may benefit from talking with a therapist.
Feeling Disconnected
Learning how to function, or even exist, in a relationship after perinatal loss can be difficult. Many people have felt like they need to learn how to love again after the shock and grief of their loss. Healing takes time. Learning how to love again does not happen suddenly overnight. It may seem cliché, but communication is key, especially with your partner after perinatal loss. Set aside time each day to talk, even if it’s only for 5 minutes. Consider some conversation starters or journal prompts to guide the conversation.